“Naughty” Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About

by · February 14, 2024

Don’t Tell The Kids! “Naughty” Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About

I have some tips and tricks that only cruisers over 18 should know about. Kids absolutely shouldn’t know about these, but I’ve found that too few adult cruisers know about them. Buckle up as I share my sometimes saucy, occasionally naughty, but always eye-opening things only adults like you and me can do, or get away with, when cruising.

I want to start with a more unusual and niche adult tip before getting into those that will apply to most of you!

I stumbled across a whole other side to adult cruising some years ago when views of one my videos about MSC Divina blew up. On investigating, I discovered they were coming from a link on the website of company chartering the ship for a cruise. A rather unusual and very adult cruise.

Tip #1: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – Adult Cruises Versus “Adult” Cruises

While I knew I could book an adult-only cruise on lines like Viking, Virgin Voyages, and Saga. All offering regular cruises just without kids, my investigation revealed “Swingers” cruises for adults keen on partner swapping were also taking place on some of the best-known family cruise lines including MSC Cruises, Royal Caribbean, Carnival, Celebrity, and even the ultra-luxury Silversea.

Swingers

I was amazed at how many options there are, so many that there are even travel agents dedicated to Swinger Cruises, like TheSwingerCruise.com.

The two main companies that run them are Desire Cruises and Bliss Cruises, promising clothing-optional pool areas and indoor and outdoor playrooms.

By the way, if you do fancy swinging, but you don’t want a whole cruise of it, there is a “swingers” symbol used on regular cruises! Just pop a pineapple door decoration on your cruise door, ideally upside down, or start wearing clothing featuring them. I have seen both on several of my cruises in the last year!

But if that’s all a step to far, what about a nudist cruise?

Nudist

These are also frequent on ocean and river ships. Some I have seen advertised recently are even taking place on the swanky Scenic Yachts, as well as Carnival and Norwegian Cruise Line.

The most famous of these is run by a company that started in 1991 called Bare Necessities with their “Big Nude Boat” charters.

Gay Party Cruise

In the gay world, there are many adult-only charters of all types from sedate river cruises upwards. But the most infamous are those run by Atlantis Events. They have run cruises with a reputation for hard partying, and lots of adult fun, on many cruise lines across the years.

Of course, all of these are a bit way-out for most adults. But I do have some tips for any of you on a regular cruise planning some adult fun with your partner. Something that I wish the couple next to me on a cruise not too long ago had known about!

It’s important to remember that other than in your cabin and public bathrooms everywhere on a cruise ship has CCTV coverage, including in most cases the balconies. So, if you decide that you want to have some fun on your balcony, bear in mind you could be captured by CCTV.

Also, bear in mind that cruise balconies are not that private, with large spaces underneath the barriers, ability for your neighbours to see your reflection in the glass panels, and of course hear you.

I do wish that couple on my cruise had thought that all through!

What if you are single and hoping for some adult fun on your cruise?  I have three tips.

Singles For Fun

First, don’t bother coming on to or trying to hook up with the crew, no matter how much you fancy one. Hooking up with passengers, and even taking you into a crew area, is a sackable offence and strictly enforced.

Second, single friends of mine who use dating and meet-up Apps, tell me that these don’t work for location identifying matches when cruising, due to satellite Wi-Fi and no phone signal.

So, they say embarkation day before sailaway is the best time to check who’s on the Apps, and who’s looking to meet up. They then check again in port to see if any new profiles pop up.

Of course, the other option is to go to the solo traveller meet-up but remember that solo traveller and single traveller looking for romance or more is not the same thing! For example, I travel solo often but am married and not looking for anything on those lines on board.

Tip #2: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – Getting It All Over

If you want to come back from your cruise with a nice all-over tan, or a lady wanting no tan marks up top, you do have some but not many options.

With one exception, only one line focused on North American cruisers allow topless sunbathing, but most lines will turn a blind eye if you do it on your balcony discreetly. Even the supposedly stuffy Cunard stipulates “Should you wish to sunbathe topless, this should be done on the privacy of your own balcony” in their FAQs.

But if you don’t want to do it on your balcony what are your options?

Virgin Voyages, the adult-only line, allows topless sunbathing on the Perch on deck 17.

Then several non-English speaking lines offer it. For example, the German Hapag-Lloyd line has a topless sunbathing area on their Europa ship, while the more mass-market German Aida line has a screened-off nude sunbathing area. Celestyal Cruises, the Greek cruise line, and Costa, the Italian line, allow topless sunbathing on their top decks.

But enough about the racier side of cruising, as I want to give some important and for some little-known tips and advice around something many like to do on a cruise: drinking.

Tip #3: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – Having A Drink

First, who can and cannot drink does vary by cruise line and region.

As my partner’s 18-year-old niece reminds me, while she is happy to go cruising with us in Europe, she does not want to go cruising with us in the Caribbean, or anywhere in and out of the USA until she is 21, as she wants to be able to drink on board.

Lines sailing in and out of the USA have the drinking age set as from 21, as it is on land. But when in Europe, and most of Asia, the drinking age is 18 and the lines usually follow that.

So, if you’re taking friends and family or are in the age range 18 to 21, bear that in mind.

Though, as I told my partner’s niece in many ports in the Caribbean, while she couldn’t drink on the ship, she would be able to in most ports.

Bringing Alcohol Onboard

Another drinking related tip is taking advantage of the cruise line allowance, as while most won’t allow you to bring hard alcohol and beers on board, they will let you bring wine or champagne, usually one bottle per person.

If you try and bring anything else on board on embarkation and it is spotted in your carry on or check in bags, they will confiscate it and some lines, like Royal Caribbean, will not return it.

Across my years cruising I have met a surprisingly large number of passengers who smuggle booze on board. I was so fascinated about the tactics and even products made to facilitate it that I made a video about them, from simple mouthwash switching to fake accessories like binoculars and umbrellas.

Of course, I’m not suggesting you smuggle booze, and the lines are savvy to many of these. But it is worth watching to admire the ingenuity.

My next tip is a more serious one and is sort of linked to drinking, because that’s when people’s guard can be down.

Tip #4: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – Crime Watch

You do need to be cautious as ships are not crime-free zones, even if it is something not discussed much.

All ships sailing in and out of the United States must submit stats on crime, and the number one reported crime is sexual assault. In fact, just under 70% of crimes reported on ships are sexual assault, and almost always committed by a passenger.

The statistics are public as the USA Cruise Vessel Security and Safety Act of 2010 requires reporting, and a quarterly report is published online.

The next major crime after sexual assaults is “assault with serious bodily harm”, which seems to be from drink-fueled fights.

The amount of crime reported is not particularly high, around 43 incidents per quarter, but it happens and if it happens to you then it being one of a small number is everything and devastating.

So do take care, particularly when drinking that you don’t let your guard down – or pick a fight either obviously!

But there is one other thing that could get you into a lot of trouble I need to talk about.

Tip #5: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – Getting On A High

It is a total no-go to bring recreational drugs on board, including cannabis and related products, even though it is legal in some countries and States in the US.

Cruise lines ban them, and if they find you smoking it or have any cannabis products on board, you can be thrown off the ship at the next port and possibly be banned from cruising with them.

I wasn’t sure if I needed to mention this one but as a surprisingly large number of passengers have been caught by cruise lines and authorities doing it recently, I decided to.

Don’t smuggle drugs in large quantities as several people have tried to do on repositioning cruises from one continent to another. The lines and authorities are on the lookout for it.

An elderly English couple in their 70s tried and spent time in prison in Portugal, some Instagram-style party girls tried and were caught in Australia and so many more.

I also want to talk prescription drugs tips.

Of course, you can bring your prescription drugs on board. In some places like Mexico, you can buy prescription drugs in a local pharmacy without a prescription, including Viagra, Diazepam, Tramadol, and so on.

I have met several cruisers like to stock up on prescription drugs on cruises in ports like this because they’re cheaper.

Three things to think about. First, there is a risk that they’re not genuine. There have been some Mexican pharmacies closed for selling fake drugs.

Second, the USA FDA rules don’t appear to allow the importation of prescription drugs purchased outside of the USA.

And thirdly, the US FDA also recommend that you never bring more than a 90-day supply of medication with entering the US, whether you’ve bought those in Mexico or they’re your normal prescription.

Tip #6: Tips ONLY Cruisers Over 18 Should Know About – The Mobile Phone Trap

The saying goes that “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”, but these days what happens on a cruise doesn’t stay on a cruise.

Look at TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram Reels, and YouTube, to see loads of videos recorded on the ubiquitous mobile phone of people doing things they shouldn’t on a cruise: every fight, every pier runner, every idiot climbing on the balcony railings or bad drunken behaviour.

So, bear in mind, if you’re going to do something crazy, it’s probably going to be filmed and it’s probably going to be shared.

 




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