7 Cruises You Should Avoid. No Matter How Tempting They Look

Some cruises look perfect on paper. The itinerary, ship, and price appear great. But harsh reality can hit once on board. I’ve done enough cruises, over 130 and counting, to have learnt there are seven specific cruises to stay clear of – or to only book under very specific conditions.

Starting with this one. European River Cruises.

European River Cruises

While many people love them, for the way I like to travel, possibly the way you do, the negatives often outweigh the positives, especially if you love ocean cruising.

European river cruising is expensive per day versus ocean cruising, particularly for what you get on board. The ships are small, facilities limited, cabins compact, entertainment modest, and the experience is more scheduled and closer to a tightly organised tour on a moving hotel.

The other issue is repetition. I found having been on several river cruises on the Rhine and Danube they are very repetitive. They all go to the same places, visit the same sights, with a lot of cathedral visits.

And come with two issues.

First, water levels. If too high or too low as often happens, it is impossible for the ship to sail the planned itinerary. Meaning changing ship or long bus rides to and from sights instead.

Second, river cruise ships often dock side by side, which means the beautiful river view cabin you booked is just staring straight into someone else’s cabin.

But if you are a traveller that prefers everything to be organised for you, gentle cultural-focused walking tours, small ships with few passengers, no risk of motion sickness, and seeing European countries and landscapes without the hassle of constantly changing trains, hotels, transfers and constant repacking, then they could be for you.

The next cruise I won’t book again is a sailing ship cruise. Here’s why.

Cruises To Avoid: Sailing Ship Cruises

I thought it would be different and more thrilling than regular cruise ship cruising, with unique ships and billowing sails.

But having tried it, I found it did not quite deliver – especially versus the premium cost.
First, as while it was exciting seeing the sails come out, they played a limited role.

On Windstar Wind Surf, we sailed under power all the time to meet the itinerary and the schedule. The sails often were out more for show, to increase speed, or reduce fuel usage. That combined with stabilisers meant the sailing experience did not feel different to regular small cruise ships I’ve been on.

The fares were high and of course as sailing ships are smaller, there were fewer venues, less choice, smaller cabins, and limited entertainment.

I also found that while sailing ships promise to have more unique itineraries, whilst we did often dock outside towns while bigger ships were way out in working ports, once you’re off that small sailing ship experience, I was in towns packed with land and other cruise passengers.

So, the value for me versus small ship regular cruise ships wasn’t there.

However, I met many on the trip that liked the 300-passenger size and valued that more than having more choice, loved the water sport marina at the back, the uniqueness of a sailing ship versus regular cruise ship, and the more destination focused and low sea day itineraries.

Another cruise that I avoid booking are foreign language cruise lines.

Cruises To Avoid: Foreign Language Cruise Lines

I’ve had mixed experiences by going on cruise lines from different countries. I’ve been on Germany’s Hapag-Lloyd, both expedition and regular, French Ponant, Italian Costa, and on various river and barge cruises on the French CroisiEurope.

The issue always is the uncertainty of the experience based on how many fellow English-speaker passengers there are. I have been sometimes where there were only two other English speakers on board to a sizeable group of around 20.

Personally, I did find the trips a bit draining coping with not fully understanding everything, and the greater challenge to just strike up conversations and meet fellow passengers. While cruise lines do try to accommodate international guests, it varies based on the numbers on board.

This means some don’t always work like the entertainment program, on expedition trips I found the lectures sometimes were just live translated into an earpiece and sometimes run by language. I saw frustration from English-speaking passengers from it being obvious that in the local language the detail in announcements had more information than we got as English speakers.

Of course, dining, customs, queuing styles, smoking habits, dress and socialising follows the country norms.

However, foreign language lines can offer a different and varied experience to what we are used to.

For those that speak the language, want to step out of their comfort zone, are confident independent travellers, and want to be immersed in a different passenger experience then they are used to, they could be worth trying.

For me, I now avoid them unless the foreign language line offers a unique itinerary or are likely to do it better. For example, I have booked a Ponant trip to the Ross Sea Ice Shelf in Antarctica because they are one of the few lines that have permits to go there and have lots of experience there too.

The next cruise I avoid is on the most popular way to cruise in terms of passenger numbers.

Cruises To Avoid: Mega Resort Ships

I also stay away from giant mega ship resort cruises, largely because I am driven more by ports than by having an on-ship mega resort experience, but also because the numbers and bustle is also not for me.

These new mega ships are marvels. They have huge restaurant and bar choice, water parks, incredible shows and entertainment programs, thrill rides, Kids’ clubs and more. They’re often ideal when seeing the ship as a destination, but for me, ports are way more important than all of that.

As they’re so big, they are limited to ports that can cope with the scale and numbers. This means largely repetitive itineraries calling on the same few ports. Increasingly with cruise line islands and beach clubs playing a major part too. They don’t offer the variety and new ports I am looking for when booking a cruise.

Also, for me, it’s a bit louder, rather frantic, too busy, overly party-like, and has more kids and families than I enjoy.

Of course, for anyone looking for that resort experience they are ideal, especially for families, multi-generational groups, and even friend groups as they offer things for everyone to do on one ship.

But saying that ports are key to what I will book, there is a port issue that drives me to avoid some cruises

Cruises To Avoid: Tender Port Cruises

I will not book cruises that are tender port heavy ones on larger ships. This is where the ship anchors offshore and passengers are ferried to and from land on tender boats.

Tender port cruises can look appealing on paper with great options in places like the less-visited Greek islands, South Pacific and French Polynesian islands, smaller Mediterranean ports, some out-of-the-way Caribbean islands, and even remote parts of Scotland.

But tendering adds risks and downsides.

Windy weather and the swell leads to ports being cancelled, frequently as I found on my round Scotland cruise on Windstar where we lost most ports.

But on bigger ships, even mid-sized ships like Holland America Oosterdam at 1,900 passengers that I was on recently, it takes a lot of time to get off and back to the ship, slashing time to explore in port.

If docked I can be off the ship as soon as it is cleared, but on a larger ship like Oosterdam if not in a suite or on an excursion getting priority, I found I often waited hours before getting a tender place to get off.

As I like to do independent excursions not cruise line ones, on bigger ships in tender ports it’s hard to predict when I can get on land and so they are harder and riskier to arrange and do.

Tender port cruises work best on small ships, like French Polynesia on ships like Paul Gauguin or Windstar.

There is another cruise I now avoid based in the ship, and issues it has.

Cruises To Avoid: Known Issue Ships

I avoid cruise ships where I know they have known cabin noise and design issues based on my own experience or from people I trust, or where I have booked where I can’t book and choose a cabin guaranteeing low noise.

I want a quiet cabin without much noise when cruising. This is probably one of my stricter rules when booking a cruise.

I’ve experienced cabin issues and noise, including vibration, slamming doors, poor soundproofing, and other design problems on a several ships. And I never book on those ships again.

For example, I avoid Oceania Allura class, having had and met many people with between cabin soundproof issues when I was on Oceania Vista. I book other Oceania ship classes, having had good experience on those with soundproofing.

I also avoid Seabourn Ovation and Encore having experienced poor soundproofing in the regular veranda cabins, and certain grades on the Silversea Nova class too.

When choosing a ship if I see many negative reports about sound and noise, I avoid those.

Also, I will not book a cruise unless I can choose a cabin that is going to meet my noise needs. So, it’s surrounded by other cabins, it’s away from noisy venues, I can make sure it’s not opposite potentially noisy areas like crew access doors, and so on.

If they are not available, I do not book. For example, I want to do a circumnavigation of Australia. There’s a perfect cruise by Holland America for when I want to do it, but there’s only cabins under the pool deck and near some other noisy areas left. I’d rather not take the risk. And so have not booked, looking for other options.

I know many think my approach is mad, and for people less noise sensitive and easier going than I am on this, this opens more opportunities. But I still caution on this as I get many messages from people saying they used to think I was overly picky, until they had a cruise affected by cabin noise.

I will also not book one of the new ultra luxury hotel branded yachts. Why?

Cruises To Avoid: Ultra-Luxury Hotel Yacht Cruises

Here I mean lines like Ritz-Carlton, Four Seasons, and Orient Express.

I have a wait-and-see approach as they are incredibly expensive and would have to deliver a phenomenal experience way above existing ultra-luxury lines, but in that regard, they have mixed reviews.

They’re sold on the power of a hotel brand, and the cruise operation is still bedding in.

I do have some question marks around their viability too, and so don’t want to commit for further out.

For example, the Ritz-Carlton Yachts has reportedly low occupancy rates, is building up losses, and have had their financial arrangements reorganised a few times, including very recently various financial papers report.

These lines are mostly franchising the name and are not really part of the hotel groups it would seem.

I do not think being an early adopter at those prices is for me and will let them bed in and reassess.

Of course, if you have the budget, and want to try small, very upmarket yacht ships and the traditional larger ultra-luxury cruise lines do not appeal, then they are worth trying. I’m going to stick to the proven ultra luxury small ship lines like Regent, Silversea, Seabourn, Crystal, Explora Journeys, and perhaps the more established Scenic Yachts.

Another cruise that I will avoid booking is one where I can’t guarantee a more adult experience, which is more difficult these days with traditionally more adult lines chasing more families. If that is something you seek too, I have tips on how to ensure that in this article of adult cruise tips.

 

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